My own thoughts and processing

I generally dislike entering into intense discussions over political/spiritual/or other touchy subjects, except with my family or friends to whom I'm very close. I guess I'm confident that with them, we'll continue to love (and like) each other, even if we strongly disagree on things. And I don't really care to use this blog as a place to air my opinions on such subjects. There are enough vocal people in the blogging world, expressing opinions from every possible angle, without my entering the fray. However, I'm going to make an exception today. On my adoption agency's online discussion board, another adoptive parent posted this link (http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/29/world/africa/africa-child-adoption/index.html?hpt=hp_c2) and asked for our thoughts. International adoptions (particularly from Africa) are something I do have strong opinions about, and I waxed eloquent enough to post the following response to the article, which I thought I'd share with any of you who may be interested:

I've read many similar articles over the last couple of years as I've adopted my 2 year old from Ethiopia and am now adopting 2 older girls from the DRC. The article brings up valid points about the dangers involved with a huge demand for adoptable children in countries with infrastructures that are poorly equipped to manage all the complexities involved and guard against trafficking. I am glad that this discussion is continually being brought to the forefront of the adoption world, because I think that awareness of the dangers involved is important.

That being said, I disagree that the best thing to do is to discourage international adoptions from African (or other) countries, because there is a risk of children being trafficked. When more than 100 million children are languishing (and even dying) in orphanages or on the streets without parents to care for them, I don't believe that the answer is letting them stay there while the global community argues about how best to keep them within their own culture and ethnic group. I do believe that (with few exceptions) the best place for children is with their biological families. I also know that, realistically, this is not always possible. I hate that some birth-parents have to choose between watching their children starve to death in front of them or relinquishing them to an orphanage for adoption. I really, really hope that as a global community we can continue to look for solutions that will enable these brave mothers and fathers to keep and feed their children and watch them grow into healthy adults. I also hope that we can continue to advocate for and promote foster-care systems and domestic adoption programs for these countries that are affected by large numbers of orphans. But until those are viable alternatives (because they're not in many African countries), I am grateful that international adoption is an available option for these children in orphanages, who, if they even make it to adulthood, will likely struggle to become productive adults in their society after growing up without the benefit of a family and a home.

In an ideal world, there would be no orphans, and child-trafficking would be unheard of. Clearly, our world is far from that utopia. Sadly, child-trafficking will exist with or without legal international adoptions from African countries. We desperately need voices to continue to speak on behalf of the children and families who are exploited because of lax adoption laws and policies in developing countries. But let's not condemn the other 143 million true orphans to a life without family because of our failure to protect the ones who are bought, sold, or stolen.

At least that's my two cents on the matter. :) What do you think?

Update & Timeline

So for the first time in this adoption process, it actually feels like things are moving! Granted, it will still be months before I bring the girls home, but that day is actually getting closer. Hooray! As of today, there has been a tribunal hearing for both girls and court orders given that their birth certificates be issued. There is a mandatory 30 day waiting period before they can actually be issued, but that seems pretty short in the grand scheme of things. Here's what the timeline may look like from here (give or take a few days, weeks, or even months): 

- Around May 27th, M.J.'s birth certificate should be issued (could actually take an additional week or more). 

- Around June 9th, A.S.'s birth certificate should be issued (see above).

- Approximately 2 weeks after both birth certificates are issued, I can hope to pass Stage 1 of Court. (Maybe around the week of June 25?)

- Approximately 2-3 weeks later, I can hope to pass State 2 of Adoption Court, tentatively making me the legal parent of both girls. (Perhaps around July 18?)

- 30 day waiting period to allow any living relatives opportunity to claim either girl and contest the adoption. This should only be a legal formality, as neither girl has any known living relatives. 

- Adoption deed and new birth certificate (with the girls new names and me listed as parent) are able to be issued. However, it seems to be taking an additional month or so before these precious documents are actually arriving in the hands of our lawyer. (So anywhere from mid-August to mid-September)

- Submit all the legal paperwork to USCIS (U.S. Customs and Immigration Services), requesting they issue approval for the girls' US visas. (Their website says it takes about 2.5 months, but I've heard that it may be closer to 6-8 weeks; so maybe around mid-November?)

- Our DRC lawyer goes to the girls' visa interview at the US Embassy in Kinshasa, DRC. 

- I hop on a plane (maybe sometime in December?) and fly to pick up my newest daughters! 

I believe that's a semi-reasonable estimate of things. Keep in mind that almost nothing in this adoption process has complied with reasonable estimates, so I still really have no idea of when they'll be home. But continue to hope and pray that it is sooner and not later. I would love for it to be more like October or November when I go get them. But I'm glad that the Lord is ultimately in control and that His timing is perfect! 

In the meantime, I continue to enjoy my time with my precious little 2 year old. She is a joy (and a challenge!) and blesses my life daily. I love seeing the little lady she's becoming. The little loud, opinionated, energizer bunny, hysterical, remarkably articulate, stubborn, musically talented, compassionate, fun-loving lady she's becoming. There are many other adjectives I could find to describe Matani. As her name suggests, she was "stolen from death to bring forth life." And I'm not sure I know anyone on the planet who is more full of life than she.