The beginning of this week was hard for me. Sue, the director of my adoption agency (Celebrate Children International, www.celebratechildren.org) landed in the DRC with her daughter last Monday, and from that point forward, all I could think about was hearing an update and seeing more pictures of my darling Mikaiya. For days I felt sick to my stomach, had trouble sleeping, and could hardly focus on anything else. The desire to know how my soon-to-be daughter was doing was all-consuming.
On Thursday morning, I learned some devastating news about another family who is adopting from the DRC. It had nothing to do with Mikaiya, but that made it no less heartbreaking, and it made me even more desperate to know how she was doing and that she was being cared for. I cried for that family multiple times on Thursday, and began to feel like I was losing my mind in my anxiety to hear about Mikaiya. You know the verse, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God"? It's a great verse. And I didn't even come close to obeying it. Well, ok let's be honest: I obeyed parts of it. The prayer, supplication, and letting my requests be made known to God parts I did great with. I didn't just knock on the doors of heaven that day...I banged my fists, hammered with everything I could muster, and shouted at the top of my spiritual lungs. But the "be anxious for nothing" and "thanksgiving" parts...those I failed at rather miserably. But you know what? My God is gracious beyond anything I deserve, and He chose to hear and see this daughter of His that was acting something like a screaming two year old on His doorstep. In Genesis 16, the Lord is described as "the God who sees me." I told Him on Thursday morning that I needed Him to "see" me that day. And He did.
At about 2:00am that night (Friday morning) I received 2 emails from Sue with more than 40 pictures of my little one. Until that point, I'd only ever seen one picture of her. It's the one posted on the right side of my blog with her wearing the t-shirt that says "Grow". I can't show her face online until the adoption is complete, but in that picture she just looks worried, confused, concerned, and sad. All of those things that break a mother's heart. In these new pictures from Sue, she's smiling in almost every one. And can I just tell you how beautiful her smile is? She's got beautiful big dark brown eyes that look like they're sparkling with mischief (she and Matani are going to get along great in that respect!), little white teeth with a funny little gap between 2 of the upper ones, and the darling-est (I know it's not a real word...just go with it) dimple on her left cheek. It's the kind of smile that makes you smile back. The kind of smile that brings sweet relief to this anxious mother's heart. The kind of smile I still hope and pray to be able to see in person in the next few months.
And may I encourage you again to continue to pray that the process moves smoothly and quickly? Because the faster it goes, the sooner I can post a picture of this breathtaking smile for all of you to see. :)
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
I was realizing today that it's been a while since I've posted. The only reason for that is I haven't really had any big news, stories, or prayer requests to write about. That's still the case, but I figured it was time to write something anyway.
Mikaiya's adoption is still going smoothly as far as I know. All of the paperwork is completed and the last I heard it was in the Congo being translated before being submitted to Congolese court. That was a couple weeks ago, so I'm hoping to hear an update sometime soon. Celebrate Children International's (my adoption agency) director just arrived in the DRC for a short stay and plans to visit Mikaiya's orphanage, among others. This means that I should receive some more pictures (and maybe even video!) of Mikaiya within the next few days. Needless to day, I'm almost breathless with anticipation! I was able to send a care package for Mikaiya, including some clothes, pictures of our family, a doll, and some things for the other children in her orphanage. Sue will be delivering these things this week. I am so blessed to have such an amazing agency, with such an involved director!
Matani continues to grow and develop into a beautiful, precocious, dramatic (and a bit strong-willed) 2 year old. She sings and dances almost non-stop, gives out hugs and kisses frequently to those she loves, and continues to bless my life on a daily basis. A couple days ago when rummaging through a box of things I'm waiting for her to grow into, she discovered a pair of shoes. Now for the most part, Mati could really care less what I dress her in. Frills or rags...it doesn't make much of a difference to her, except for one thing...she cares about her shoes. She loves going through her little shoe basket (it currently holds about 4-5 pairs of shoes, I think) and choosing which pair she'll be wearing each day. So while looking through this box of too big clothes, we found a pair of shoes she hasn't yet seen. They're a hand-me-down from a little neighbor girl and they're pink, with tiny high heels and a Disney princess on the toe. Oh, and they're the kind where the heel lights up when you walk in them. I'm pretty sure Mati thought she'd died and gone to heaven. It didn't matter that the shoes are 2 sizes too big. Nope, she shoved her feet into those darling shoes, waited for me to snap the strap and then proceeded to march all over the house in them, loving the little "click, click, click" that accompanied the sparkling lights in her heels as she walked. She kept them on the entire day and has insisted on wearing them for at least some portion of the last couple of days. Today's outfit was anything but girly...she was just around the house all day, so I didn't bother to dress her up. Now even though she loves her prissy shoes, that doesn't stop her from tromping around the backyard and getting as dirty as possible while wearing them. Here's my little girl who can't quite decide if she's a tomboy or runway model:
Mikaiya's adoption is still going smoothly as far as I know. All of the paperwork is completed and the last I heard it was in the Congo being translated before being submitted to Congolese court. That was a couple weeks ago, so I'm hoping to hear an update sometime soon. Celebrate Children International's (my adoption agency) director just arrived in the DRC for a short stay and plans to visit Mikaiya's orphanage, among others. This means that I should receive some more pictures (and maybe even video!) of Mikaiya within the next few days. Needless to day, I'm almost breathless with anticipation! I was able to send a care package for Mikaiya, including some clothes, pictures of our family, a doll, and some things for the other children in her orphanage. Sue will be delivering these things this week. I am so blessed to have such an amazing agency, with such an involved director!
Matani continues to grow and develop into a beautiful, precocious, dramatic (and a bit strong-willed) 2 year old. She sings and dances almost non-stop, gives out hugs and kisses frequently to those she loves, and continues to bless my life on a daily basis. A couple days ago when rummaging through a box of things I'm waiting for her to grow into, she discovered a pair of shoes. Now for the most part, Mati could really care less what I dress her in. Frills or rags...it doesn't make much of a difference to her, except for one thing...she cares about her shoes. She loves going through her little shoe basket (it currently holds about 4-5 pairs of shoes, I think) and choosing which pair she'll be wearing each day. So while looking through this box of too big clothes, we found a pair of shoes she hasn't yet seen. They're a hand-me-down from a little neighbor girl and they're pink, with tiny high heels and a Disney princess on the toe. Oh, and they're the kind where the heel lights up when you walk in them. I'm pretty sure Mati thought she'd died and gone to heaven. It didn't matter that the shoes are 2 sizes too big. Nope, she shoved her feet into those darling shoes, waited for me to snap the strap and then proceeded to march all over the house in them, loving the little "click, click, click" that accompanied the sparkling lights in her heels as she walked. She kept them on the entire day and has insisted on wearing them for at least some portion of the last couple of days. Today's outfit was anything but girly...she was just around the house all day, so I didn't bother to dress her up. Now even though she loves her prissy shoes, that doesn't stop her from tromping around the backyard and getting as dirty as possible while wearing them. Here's my little girl who can't quite decide if she's a tomboy or runway model:
We continue to pray for Mikaiya every night before Matani goes to bed and I invite you to do the same. We pray for her health, safety, for the Lord to send people to love on her and give her lots of hugs (this week it's Sue and her daughter Julie!), and we pray that the Lord will bring her home soon. Matani is already starting to love her big sister, though she hasn't met her yet. She adores the picture we have hanging above Mikaiya's bed and talks to it nightly. She tells Mikaiya all about our family, going through and naming all of us, including aunts, uncles, and cousins. She rocks the picture and sings to her. She played "Ring Around the Rosie" with her the other night. And finally, before letting me put the picture back on the wall each night, she gives it a big slobbery kiss. Tonight after kissing the picture, she very gently wiped the glass of the picture with her blankie before handing it back to me, cleaning off the smudges her fingers and lips had deposited there.
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