Smiles are contagious

The beginning of this week was hard for me. Sue, the director of my adoption agency (Celebrate Children International, www.celebratechildren.org) landed in the DRC with her daughter last Monday, and from that point forward, all I could think about was hearing an update and seeing more pictures of my darling Mikaiya. For days I felt sick to my stomach, had trouble sleeping, and could hardly focus on anything else. The desire to know how my soon-to-be daughter was doing was all-consuming.

On Thursday morning, I learned some devastating news about another family who is adopting from the DRC. It had nothing to do with Mikaiya, but that made it no less heartbreaking, and it made me even more desperate to know how she was doing and that she was being cared for. I cried for that family multiple times on Thursday, and began to feel like I was losing my mind in my anxiety to hear about Mikaiya. You know the verse, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God"? It's a great verse. And I didn't even come close to obeying it. Well, ok let's be honest: I obeyed parts of it. The prayer, supplication, and letting my requests be made known to God parts I did great with. I didn't just knock on the doors of heaven that day...I banged my fists, hammered with everything I could muster, and shouted at the top of my spiritual lungs. But the "be anxious for nothing" and "thanksgiving" parts...those I failed at rather miserably. But you know what? My God is gracious beyond anything I deserve, and He chose to hear and see this daughter of His that was acting something like a screaming two year old on His doorstep. In Genesis 16, the Lord is described as "the God who sees me." I told Him on Thursday morning that I needed Him to "see" me that day. And He did.

At about 2:00am that night (Friday morning) I received 2 emails from Sue with more than 40 pictures of my little one. Until that point, I'd only ever seen one picture of her. It's the one posted on the right side of my blog with her wearing the t-shirt that says "Grow". I can't show her face online until the adoption is complete, but in that picture she just looks worried, confused, concerned, and sad. All of those things that break a mother's heart. In these new pictures from Sue, she's smiling in almost every one. And can I just tell you how beautiful her smile is? She's got beautiful big dark brown eyes that look like they're sparkling with mischief (she and Matani are going to get along great in that respect!), little white teeth with a funny little gap between 2 of the upper ones, and the darling-est (I know it's not a real word...just go with it) dimple on her left cheek. It's the kind of smile that makes you smile back. The kind of smile that brings sweet relief to this anxious mother's heart. The kind of smile I still hope and pray to be able to see in person in the next few months.

And may I encourage you again to continue to pray that the process moves smoothly and quickly? Because the faster it goes, the sooner I can post a picture of this breathtaking smile for all of you to see. :)