Life at home

It's been so long since I've posted and I'm so sorry! Yes, it's true...Ada, Kaiya, and I are safely back at home with Mati, Nana, and Papa. And yes, we are doing well. However, please don't mistake me by thinking that life is easy. It is anything but. All 3 of my girls are doing far better than I dared to hope they would and we are slowly but surely becoming family and learning to love each other well. But this is HARD!!  

It's emotionally draining to try to be the Mommy that Mati needs me to be as she learns to share not only her things but also my attention and love. She's such a precious, joyful, and remarkable little girl, but her whole world is being shaken right now and she's struggling to figure out where she belongs in the middle of all of the changes. And though she's amazingly articulate for her age, it's very difficult for a 3 year old to communicate with sisters who speak another language, especially when emotions and stress are high. Please pray for her.

It's intellectually draining to communicate daily with my daughters who are working hard to learn English, but are still far from fluent. Every time they speak to me or I speak to them, we are all reaching into our brains for words that still don't come naturally. I reach for the French (or occasionally Lingala) words that I've managed to learn. They reach for the English words that are still so foreign to their tongues, but are slowly becoming easier. There are still so many times when they try hard to communicate something to me and I just don't understand. It's frustrating and exhausting for all of us.

It's physically draining to keep up with all 3 of them each day. And while the Lord has been so gracious in blessing me with a body that generally does what it's supposed to without too much complaint, I can see the effects of the last few months of strain. The nerve pain from the shingles on my right shoulder still persists occasionally, though it's mild. It seems to start to fade, but a particularly stressful or difficult day will bring it tingling back. Praying that it's completely resolved soon.

It feels like we've been home for several weeks now, and I frequently start to freak out about all the things I need to do and decisions I need to make. File my taxes, start the final process of making the girls US citizens, figure out what to do about the girls' educations, get into some semblance of a routine here at home, get the girls to a dentist, and the list goes on...and on...and on... Oh, and I start back at work next week. Whew!! I have to continue to remind myself that we've only been home 2 weeks. It's ok that I don't have all my ducks in a row. It's ok that we're still adjusting. It's ok that we don't have a formalized school schedule. And if their "English teacher" is occasionally a Disney movie, that's ok too. Somehow, we will survive all of this. And someday, this life will feel "normal."

In the meantime, if you call and I don't answer or return your call, or if you email or text and I don't respond, please forgive me and grant me a little extra grace. Every one of the challenges we're facing are worth the end result, and I wouldn't go back to do anything differently if I had the option, but I'm mostly just staying trying to tread water right now. When I'm back to swimming laps (like I ever really was!), I'll try to reconnect with you. :)

Lest you think that we're all drowning in our tears and self-pity, here are a few pictures (those of you on Facebook have probably already seen them) that suggest otherwise.